Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
