and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
