I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
