i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
