how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
