We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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