I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
