I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
