yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
