Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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