i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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