Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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