yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
