google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize