Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
