so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
