i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
