So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
