Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Got a toothbrush?

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(406): View more from Montana

The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.

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(440): View more from Ohio

she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.

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(408): View more from California

I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."

(423): View more from Tennessee

Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow

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(720): View more from Colorado

I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"

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(516): View more from New York

1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.

(1-812): View more from Indiana

Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?

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