white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
