I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
