Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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