I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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