You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
