We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
