why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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