She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
