Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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