Duck Duck Cougar?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
