i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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