I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
