question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
