Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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