Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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