Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
