How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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