ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
