The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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