Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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