but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
