READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
