dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
