I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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