You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
