Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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