i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
