I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
