Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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