Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize