Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
