What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
