When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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