I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
