we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
