Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Can you bring me the toilet please
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
