Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
