Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize