Non-Jews are for practice
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
