how hairy? two words: wookie tits
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize