After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
try to milk me bitch
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