Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
