Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
