worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
