last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
