I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
