Sry I called you an 8
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
