So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
