Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
