You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
